The very thought of talking to a loved one about their snoring problem can often seem like a daunting and uncomfortable.  However, you should not avoid this necessary conversation especially if you are having difficulty sleeping because you share a room and/or bed. Rather than keep quiet about it and slowly find your relationship becoming strained it’s best you approach the issue as soon as possible.

The most important way to approach the issue is to speak from a place of caring concern.  What is caring concern?  It’s easy to explain what caring concern is not.  Caring concern is not blaming, it is not inflammatory, it is not spiteful, it is not angry, nor is it accusatory no matter how much sleep you lost the night before.  Statements such as, “Don’t you know what your snoring does to me?” or “Why don’t you do something about your snoring!” will cause your loved one to respond defensively because these statements inherently place blame on your loved one whether or not you intended for it to be this way.   If you blame someone for something, especially for engaging in potentially embarrassing behavior that amounts to a serious medical condition you are creating a recipe for disaster.  Instead of taking the wrong approach, take some time to read over a few tips on how to talk to your loved one from a place of care and concern.

Here is a simple list you need to remember when you bring up the subject

  1. Avoid the word “You.”  For example, “You make it difficult for me to sleep when you snore.” A “You” statement is accusatory, whereas an “I” statement does not place blame.  “I find it difficult to sleep when you snore.” Can you see how the two sentences have a completely different connotation though they are saying something very similar?
  2. Show your loved one that you care and that snoring can be indicative of a serious medical condition. Let your loved on know that snoring is more than a mere annoyance,  it may be associated with Sleep Apnea which could have potential fatal consequences if left untreated.
  3. Be Supportive. Don’t be afraid to direct him to any of the products on our site if you feel it will help him. Let him know that there are solutions out there that work.
  4. Become a “We” when you are talking about solutions to the problem.  Avoid saying “It’s your problem, deal with it.” Share with your loved one research, and don’t be afraid to refer him or her to an appropriate medical practitioner if you believe their snoring may be indicative of a serious condition.
  5. Avoid pressuring your loved one into acting.  If you say, “You should do xyz” they will withdraw and possibly even resent your efforts.  Instead, you must suggest and make them feel as though they are making their own decisions.  An example of what to say would be, “Hey I heard about xyz product that’s worked for John Doe’s snoring here’s some information if you’re interested.”
  6. Express your feelings clearly and appropriately. You may say, “I feel sad and frustrated when you snore at night because it prevents me from falling asleep and causes me great concern over your health.”
This is how you express your feelings about your loved one’s snoring without blaming.
  1. When You ________ (fill in blank, i.e. snore)
  2. I Feel __________ (angry, sad, frustrated, etc..)
  3. Because ________ (can’t sleep, concerned about health, etc..)
Remember this and your difficult conversation will be just a little bit simpler.  Sometimes the individual refuses to get help NO MATTER what you do, in this case you can’t force another person to act against their will.  You’ve got to look out for yourself first, and if necessary you can invest in a good pair of earplugs to help get to sleep at night.  If you really need to tune out of your loved one’s snoring you can’t go wrong with a good set of earplugs.